Facebook...a friend or foe??

Facebook...a friend or foe??

So I haven't written in a while, and it's because I'm having a conflict of confidentiality....  Recently a fellow doula and friend wrote a bit 'too much information' on her facebook status during and about a birth.  As it was playing out, I honestly didn't think much of it.  However, she received a serious repromand from our local doula association and quickly removed the postings.  It brought about an emergency meeting of our executive and with it a bit of mass hysteria.  Very quickly, very strong opinoins were formed and expressed.  It was/is the executives facebook policy that has given me a "fit of vapours".  They would like to blanket ALL doula talk from our facebook accounts, they'd like us to sign a policy about it and adhere to it.  This is kind of over kill, I believe.  Facebook is a social networking forum and within it is a great tool to be used to network with our "friends".  I personally have received two clients from friends of friends.  It bothers me that our association has to write a policy about what we are "allowed" to write and that we can't be trusted to use common sense.  I, of course, don't dis agree that my friend was wrong in naming names, and giving out too much personal information.  However, if I can't write about what I'm passionate about or what I'm doing in my life....it's going to bother me.  By me posting that I've been to a birth or that I've gotten a new client, it does not in any way breach anyones confidentiality.  I haven't named names, given out intimate details, nor "dissed" a doctor's name.  I'm just sharing with my friends what I'm doing with my life.  Am I looking for "adoration"?...  Maybe a little, but mostly I just want to share what I love to do, and that is to help families be born. 

I realize that there are many "hackers" out in the big bad work of the internet that have nothing better to do than try and get intimate information from peoples accounts.  Adhearing to strict privacy settings should stop most of them, and the others...well if they are that interested, I guess there's not much I can do to stop them. 

So I'm at a loss about what to do with this blog.  Am I giving out too much information, can you figure out who I'm blogging about, does it matter??

In our newest Doula International Magazine there is an article that Penny Simkin (the founder of DONA) has written.  In it she states that the internet is going to be and is one of our greatest tools, for teaching and speaking about all things birth.  Getting the general public to know and be aware of what natural and normal childbirth is.  She brings up facebook and states it's on public forums that the world is going to be made aware about what doulas do and are doing. 

So I'd like to state this, I promise not to name names, or give out too much information, but I'd still like to share with you stories about births.  I'd like to educate you about what is normal and natural in the birthing community.  Also I'd like to entertain you with funny antics and sayings that happen in my birthing world.  So if you think you know...or maybe you do know who I'm talking about...can you keep it under your hat and just enjoy the story??

Cheers Twila

Labour and Birth of a Doula

My fascination with birth and babies began at an early age. My father has seven sisters and I am the seventh oldest in a line of 34 cousins. I have a younger brother who graciously allowed me to dress him in doll clothes and mother him throughout much of our childhood. A tomboy I was not and I secretly saved up and bought a Cabbage Patch Kid (the first time they came out) I was 12.
I knew from a young age that I would be a nurse, nurturing comes easy to me and the displeasentness of nursing didn't faze me. I could do bed pans, catheters, drain pumps, I can pack wounds and de-bride a burn, (which is funny as I can't ride amusement park rides and even riding in the car on a curvy road can make me sick) the part of nursing that disillusioned me was the politics and cattiness of the work place. I felt my first twinges of discomfort during nursing school when I came to realize I couldn't just care and nurture my patients, I also had to please those whom I worked for.
Health care budgets were being squeezed tightly by the time I graduated from University. I was newly married and had a large student loan leering down. Casual positions in long term care facilities were all a new grad could find. But I learned to love those elderly souls who where on the last chapters of their lives. Still birth and babies called me. I called the nurse manager of the labour and delivery unit at the hospital where I worked every 3 months. Finally (I think out of desperate need for quiet) she offered me a casual position on a busy level 3 labour and delivery unit.
I loved working on unit 51. Most of my shifts were 12 hours. We tried to have one to one care whenever possible but if you had a 1st time mom in early labour and a multip (someone who's had more than one baby) came in very active....you would suddenly be very busy. Often our shifts would have no coffee or lunch breaks and I learned quickly to have a pocket full of jelly beans whenever on shift. We knew it was a crazy busy shift if we ever got a "hat trick". What can I say Calgary is a hockey city. 3 deliveries while being the primary nurse. With a staff of at least 10 nurses on shift you know that it was crazy busy sometimes. I loved helping women birth their babies, families being born. I hated leaving at the end of a shift before those babies were born. I hated the cattiness and politics that goes with working with a number of women. I hated not having enough time to give the quality care that I knew each woman, partner and baby deserved. And though I loved being a nurse it wasn't a hard decision for me to decide to stay home with our children after our second child was born.
Being a mom is everything to me. I was born to be a mother and I loved every minute of pregnancy, yes even the morning sickness and bed rest. I marvel sometimes looking back on the last 12 years how much my capacity to love has grown. How long I can go without proper sleep and how protective us mothers can be. I loved the baby stage, the toddler stage, the school age stage, and now as our eldest starts us out on the teenager stage, I'm learning to love this stage as well.
It was our son's second grade teacher who helped me discover all things doula. She asked me for labour support and I excitedly accepted. She then called me her doula and the first twinges of this labour began.
How excited I was to find out being a doula was not just some backyard "granola" type of practise. There was certification, standard of practice and a code of ethics. All of these things appealed to my nurses heart. But the line that hooked me was "Mothering the Mother". Now everything lined up for me. This was it, and it's been there for generations I just had to find it.
I took my doula training in May 2009. I went into the course thinking, "I'll know all of this and really how much can these people teach me?" How wrong I was. I loved this course, loved what I was hearing and loved the attitude the trainers had towards birth. I was encouraged, empowered and educated. My doula labour began in earnest on a lovely spring weekend surrounded by like minded and loving women, with no tears or rips to my confidence, unmedicated (except for the few cans of cola I enjoyed) I was lovingly and safely born a doula.
It is my intent on this blog spot to share with you the laughter and joys, the tears and pain that come with the birth of children. Join me in this incredible journey.
Check out my website if you are interested. www.doulas3es.ca